Well, as you can see, I still keep changing my mind back and forth between yes and no. It's weird though how when I surround myself with good things and the spirit the feeling of YES comes back so easily. But as soon as I stop doing those good things, the feeling of NO comes just as quickly. I know that Satan knows that I am thinking about serving a mission and he is trying his hardest to make me not go..
Last week I had special conformation that serving a mission is the thing I need to do. I even set up a meeting with my bishop to see what needs to be done so that I can go out and serve the Lord. Sadly, I missed my appointment because my alarm had gone off at the wrong time!
That gave Satan just enough time to put doubt in my mind... So, the choice still remains. I know I need to pray for the strength and courage to move forward with this decision, but it's hard! Like my friend Elder Parker Beus said in his latest letter to me,
"I'll be honest, it's no cake walk, but there really is a reason the prophets have asked us to all try and go. Make sure it's your decision though, and get the confirmation of the Holy Ghost for yourself so you'll know without a doubt it's the right thing."
That's really what I'm worried about the most.. That I'll get out there, or in the MTC and either absolutely hate it, or I will be so homesick that I'll come home. Coming home... Coming home is my worst fear about going. Just because I know how people can judge you when you do come home early. I don't want people to think bad about me.
But like I said, I just need help from the Lord to give me the strength to do his work.
Well, I shall update you as soon as I know what is going on in the life of Derek Sorensen :)
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