A lot has changed in my life within those 3 week. So much so that it's starting to make me nervous for what the future holds. It all began the moment I stepped off the airplane.
December 11th, 2013
Elder Shuman and I had just spent about two hours on a plane from Dallas to Salt Lake City. I don't know about Elder Shuman, but I was freaking out inside. We had not seen our families for two whole years. Our missions passed in the blink of an eye. For me, I felt like I should still be out there doing the work of the Lord. But, the time had come for me to return home. It was over. Everything was over. For a small moment, it seemed like my life would even be over. I loved my mission with everything that my soul possesses.
As Elder Shuman and I approached the gate for us to meet our families once again, we both decided that we should say a prayer of thanks to our Heavenly Father for the experience he had given us. And so we did. In the middle of the Salt Lake City International Airport, there we stood with our heads bowed and our arms folded saying a vocal prayer for all to hear.
We descended the escalator. Through the tunnel we went. At the end of it, there I saw my family. This is the moment I had been waiting for, for two whole years. Everyone was in tears. They cheered. I walked closer towards them. My mom was the first to reach me. My arms flew around her for the first time in 17531.6 hours.
We held each other as we both had tears coming down our faces. I was at a loss for words. All I could manage out of my lips were the words, "I did it. I did it."
-Later that evening-
I didn't know what to expect upon getting released. I always heard that the moment where your Stake President releases you, you feel the Spirit that you have carried for two years lift off of you. I didn't want that. I don't think any Return Missionary does. But my time with my Stake President was very special to me. He told me a few things. #1- Always look the part of a Representative of Christ. Don't become a bum. Don't look scraggly. #2- Continue to shine the light that you have received. Keep up a diligent study schedule. Don't lose what you've gained.
With that, he released me. He read a beautifully written statement which brought me to tears. President Thurgood told me that he loves to see Return Missionaries react the way I did. It tells him how much we sacrificed. How much we fought. How much we loved our missions. How much we love the Savior.
December 21st, 2013
About a week and a half has passed since my return home. I took no prisoners getting back into the social scene. Facebook was one of my first victims. Shortly after, Youtube was overpowered. iTunes was only minutes away from total annihilation. Today, it is in my power. I even went on an official date 2 days after I was released. I waste no time in trying to get back into the swing of things. But amongst all the music, friends, movies, and even Christmas Spirit... One piece of life changing news hits my books as the biggest miracles of my life.
As you may know, my Brother-in-law, Ryan, is not a member of the church. He actually grew up RLDS. (almost there, but not quite.) He is from Kansas. He has been living in Utah for the past 15 years now though. He is very very familiar with the church.
In the past, he actually had a lot of negative experiences with the church. He saw the people of the church and some poor choices they were making, and got a bad taste in his mouth about the church.
When he married my Sister, we all loved him! He is one of the best men on this Earth and treats my sister with such respect and dignity. We had no hard feelings towards him not being a member since he is such a choice individual.
We never wanted to push the Gospel on him. In fact, none of us were really in the position to share the Gospel with him at that time, since we were making poor choices ourselves. So we simply loved him. We showed him what was important to us and we embraced him into our family.
For almost 7 years now, he has been a huge part in all of our lives. And when the time came for me to go on my mission, I saw him cry for the first time in my life. I missed him very much while I was in the Texas Dallas Heaven, serving the Lord!
Today, as me, my mom, Whitney, and my brother in law were Christmas shopping, He purchased a large painting of the Salt Lake Temple. We all thought this was curious. We asked, "Is that for Christyn?"
He replied, "Yes. Do you like it? It will go good in our new house!"
"Yes! It will!" We all said. "What made you want to buy that for her?"
"It's a long story... I'll tell you on the way home."
Well, on the way home, Ryan proceeded to tell us that when I decided to go on a mission, he was shocked! He never thought I would serve a mission! He told us that while I was serving, he did his own investigation of the church! Of what we believed. What I was sharing with the people in Texas!
He changed jobs and is now working with a group of great members of the church! They helped him answer his questions. They did what they were supposed to, and simply shared the Gospel.
Ryan informed us that he wants to take the Missionary Lessons and that he wants to be Baptized!!!
I never thought that this would happen as soon as it did! Coming home, I knew that he was going to be a big focus in my life, but I thought, "Well, maybe in 5 years, 10 years, he'll accept the invitation to learn."
I owe everything to my Savior. To His Spirit for prompting me to serve a mission. The miracles never stop! Those 2 years or 18 months will effect my family's life for eternity! Why was I so selfish in the beginning to not want to serve! I know that Missions are so essential for Enjoying to the End!
I am so happy! I cannot describe! I love my Brother so much! I am so happy he has made this choice to join the Church! I know it's true! Not even Satan can sway me from that testimony now! I am on a firm foundation! And I will stand victorious!
Which brings us to today.
December 29th, 2013
I can't help but feel homesick for Texas. In a sense, it is my second home. Real life is stressful beyond anything that I have ever imagined. In a way it's harder coming home from a mission than leaving for one. There really is no direction anymore. Work, School, Marriage. Work, School, Marriage. That is all that is going through my head right now. The pressure is almost unbearable. What I need is to get out of my house. I think that will help a lot. I can feel the Return Missionary blues starting to set in. What I would give to be back in that white shirt and tie... but I know that this is my life now. I know that if I dwell on the past, I will not progress.
I am trying to move forward, but I feel like these past 3 weeks have been very stagnant. I almost feel worthless. Alone. No one to talk to. No one to help me where I need the help.
I know it's because I spend all day long on the computer just wasting my time. I need to be more productive. I need a job, that's what I need. Purpose. I crave purpose.
Well. Back to real life. Wish me luck.
